Mental Health is taking a hit with COVID

By no means am I a mental health expert, but I am a human being that, at times, struggles with my own brain.

For the most part, I think I've held up pretty well during this pandemic outbreak but with the resurgence and with people fairly close to me (not relatives, but living near our home) testing positive, the thoughts that "We're being surrounded" and "there's no escape, it's inevitable" IS taking its toll on my mental well-being.

For the last couple of nights, I have awoken from a nightmare of myself struggling to breathe.  It is frightening to say the least and I find myself drowsily checking to make sure I really can breathe and that my airway is clear.

In late March/start of April 2018, I was hospitalized with a double whack of pneumonia and an undetermined virus after traveling back from India via Dubai. It was scary. I could barely breathe, my legs had swollen up to enormous size as I was retaining all kinds of fluids and my immune system had been compromised.  

So, I know these feelings of which I dream and based on what folks are saying happens if you catch COVID and are high-risk, I am at risk for this happening if I catch it.

I rarely live my life in fear. It's not who I am. But the feeling of helplessness I had in 2018, of having to be in quarantine, keep distance from my family, including my 10 year old son at the time, was something that in NON-Pandemic times was something that could break a man.  Amplify that by the entire ICU wing of the hospital being overrun by cases like me and it escalates that feeling exponentially.

Even has COVID has been around, we are taking extra precautions but still not living like hermits.  We socialize at a distance, are very careful with who we let into our home and avoid all large events and traveling.

But as the Patriarch of this family, this shit is taking it's toll.  To the "fuck mask" people, why can't you just realize that this is how a decent majority of people feel? You can sit there and say it's no worse than the flu all you want but it IS worse than the flu. You have the right to be as free as you want but you cannot complain with businesses shutting down, schools going back to remote learning and restrictions being put in place all because your fee fees where hurt in the beginning and as a country we couldn't do what New Zealand did (and had to do again) to stamp this thing out.

But these seeds of distrust were sown at the highest levels of our Government. The same people who downplayed the severity of this are the same ones now attacking an election results that didn't fall their way.  If you're hitching your wagon to that train of idiots, well, when the "fuck your feelings" truck comes back around to run your ass over in the future, you can't complain.

History will show that the head idiot in charge right now truly was the worst ever. His inability to suck it up and deal with the truth and yet again, spin lies, falsehoods and misinformation have set back decent political discourse in this country for decades.  The genie is out of the bottle now, he's running rampant and fooling people. But hey, he tells it like it is, except that everything he tells is bold-faced lies.

Let's go to the data, Overtime in the NHL Playoffs

Mike Milbury and other pundits are all now wringing their hands about the 5OT game that happened yesterday between Colombus and Tampa Bay.

Let's go to the data, shall we?

According to Hockey-Reference.com (who literally updates stats within minutes of games ending), there have been 845 OT games in NHL Playoff History POST the 1937 season.

NOTE: From 1928-1937, the NHL played some "total goal" series. As a result, a game could go to OT if the total goals (aggregate) were tied, even if the individual game wasn't tied.

So excluding those, of the 845 OT games the distribution by number of OT is as follows:

• 1 OT - 679 (80.36%)
• 2 OT - 122 (14.44%)
• 3 OT - 33 (3.91%)
• 4 OT - 8 (0.95%)
• 5 OT - 3 (0.36%)

So across 82 YEARS, 94.5% of all OT are completed in 2 OTs or less. The 3+ are RARE as in 5.21% rare. The 80/20 rule is literally the 95/5 rule here.

Looking at the data further for those who want to pivot the argument to "what if it Series clinching game"

• 1 OT - 127 of 679 were series clinching games (18.70% of the 80.36%)
• 2 OT - 29 of 122 (23.77% of the 14.44%)
• 3 OT - 7 of 33 (21.21% of the 3.91%)
• 4 OT - 3 of 8 (37.50% of the 0.95%)
• 5 OT - never

This does tell a different story however, given you never know if the game will be the series clincher or a series extender, you can't deploy some special rules using this argument, it needs to be consistent across every game of the playoffs, no matter the point or moment of the post-season.

Lastly, there have been 77 OT games in the Stanley Cup Finals, of which, 15 were games where the Cup was won and that is 19.48%. (still fitting into the 80/20 rule here)

I'm not sure IF there's anything to be done about the overtime rules in the NHL, but clearly we're talking about a very small percentage that even go more than 2 OT and almost all cases can be argued that the 80/20 rule is more than sufficient here.

Take a look at the data yourself if you find a way to disagree with me, I'm always open to learning other opinions.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen - F**k this virus

F**K this virus, really, man.

So although I've been very lucky to only receive a temporary reduction in pay during this crisis, others at my company haven't not been.

Part of that is two very special people in my work-life that have been made redundant (laid off) and today was their last day.

The problem with having to work from home is you don't get that last chance to say goodbye and although, with one of them, we have a friendship outside of work, with the other, I do not.

Trish leaves the firm after 45 years of service (we just celebrated this in late Feb) and although she DID plan on retiring at the end of the year, this pre-emptively moved that up.  What can I say about Trish?  She's the one that hired me 28+ years ago.  So if you're reading this and you work with me, well, she's the one to blame for the headaches I might cause you from day to day.  In spite of her being a bit of a dress-code Nazi in the first year (you know, back in the early 90s when you had to wear a tie every day and we didn't have 'casual Friday' where you could rock the jeans), she's become one of my dearest friends and essentially family.

Wendy was more of my first day-to-day mentor as I moved off of the phone center floor and into a Supervisor position.  She leaves after 29 years of service.  She taught me all the nuts and bolts of running the floor and making sure everyone was doing their job properly.  We weren't selling anything, we do market research surveys so you have to make sure that the interviewers aren't biasing or leading the consumers in their responses otherwise, the data ends up being suspect.  Wendy along with Trish, Sharon and Erin were female forces to reckon with.  I was so lucky to learn everything from them and there are skills I learned that I still put to use today.

Sharon left the company back in the mid 00's as did Erin but we lost Erin to domestic violence a few years ago. Rot in Hell, Lee!!

But today, I remember all the fun times we had late into the evenings, doing our tally sheets and organizing the sample baskets.  Of how, as telephone research started phasing out, we all found other opportunities within the company and always took the time to stop and chat if we were passing in the hallways.

From a relative small company to a global footprint of 54+ countries, it's always been about the people.  Former CEO, Eric Salama always said it and he always truly meant it.  It does make me wonder how that continues to erode slowly over time and although there will often be signposts reminding me that we're a business and you need to make money and be profitable, I worry that in tough times like these, if the "about the people" is more lip service than reality.  I get it, I really do.  If we don't perform, we perish. As I said at the top, I do feel lucky to only have a pay reduction when the alternative is much, much more painful.  But the brass ring is starting to become visible and I know if I keep up the hard work, I'll get there on my timeline and not anyone elses.

Gonna miss you Trish and Wendy and probably others who, didn't send out notices or reach out because they are upset, mad, hurt by these decisions. I'm here for you to chat with if you need it, no restrictions.

And so, here is some Tibetan throat singing group with Metal Queen Lzzy Hale with Song for Women.

Cough, cough, is this thing on?

Holy crap.  Where in the Sam Hill have you been?

Life.  Life in all of it's miserable, joyful, happy, agonizing splendor, that's where.

Five years.  Five relatively long years.  Just under 10% of my life.  Life gets in the way of having a really good fricking time, that's for sure.

So, we're all locked down in our bunkers.  Karens of the world, calling 9-1-1 on anyone having a walk down the street, riding a bike, heading out to the cul-de-sac to meet up with neighbors to have a drink (celebratory and otherwise), keeping our six-plus feet apart to break up the cabin fever.

Why the hell not get back to writing my thoughts, my fears, my struggle on a daily basis with life.

Where does one start when you've not posted in five-plus years?

Well, the Chicago Cubs finally won the damn World Series, now ain't that a pip?  Of course, living up to that magic year has been a Sisyphean task it seems.  Five generations of my family waiting for that moment, only 3 of the generations alive.  I thought I'd be a massive puddle of tears on that night, but no, it's was so joyful.  Irony of it all was that the game was on what would have been my Grandfather's 100th Birthday if he had still been alive.

Maybe that's what kept the tears from flowing?

Okay, enough for tonight.  I need to commit to this again, spill my brain out in digital "ink" and mostly because I do fight demons in my head.  Times like these aren't necessarily good if you have those passengers riding along every day and night.

Just need my sanity.  I have much to live for so don't think I'm teetering, I'm not.